So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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