i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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