I cannot find my penis.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It was confusing and full of hummus
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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