I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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