he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Drunk is a universal language darling
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
