i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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