I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
