We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
