sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
