even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
