Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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