Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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