I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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