You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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