I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
