Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
