You're completely useless in the revolution.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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