the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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