I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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