But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
