O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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