No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
