Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
