id be glad to
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
