just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
