Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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