i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm always down for nudity.
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