Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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