You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
