Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
