ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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