yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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