he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
