i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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