the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My ATM looks so different sober.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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