The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
