I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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