He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
