Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We got so high we made milksteak
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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