got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
