I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
