How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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