and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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