Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We left the knife in your bed.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
