He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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