I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
