I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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