Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
