It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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