the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
How does it feel to date your dad?
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