I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude i'm inner monologue high
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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