ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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